When is consent not consent?

**Spoilers**

A few people have commented about my book, Simon Says. They say there is one scene when it crosses the line from DD to abuse. This happens in Japan when Sadie deliberately disobeys one of Simon’s specific rules, meant to protect her and keep her safe. As the author and as a DD practitioner, I have some problem with what Simon does next but he acts within his mandate. He is a little over the top and regrets his actions later but at the time he is working within the principle in law known as Carte Blanche.

Sadie has given Simon Carte Blanche, or unlimited authority, in his role of Head of the House. By allowing him to spank her and set rules for her, she has given him authority over her as to when and how much she will be punished. To me, any time a submissive calls the shots about the when and how of a spanking, she has effectively given up her role as submissive. The whole idea of DD is that there is one leader, one primary decision maker. Yes there should be boundaries and safe words, but ultimately the HoH makes the decision.

No skin was broken in the scene in Japan. No blood was drawn. There is nothing like some of the gruesome spanking photos available online. But Simon did thrash her soundly. There is no doubt about that.

Did he get away with it? Definitely, in the short term. The first heat of love and romance has blinded Sadie. At the end of Simon Says, they both think they’ve found their HEA (happily ever after). However Sadie hasn’t quite forgotten that night in Japan. Book 2 in the series, Simon Says I Do, opens with her having serious second thoughts. There are times when a submissive needs to speak up.

What are your experiences with DD? Is there a time when you’ve wanted to withdraw your consent? Have you ever felt abused or unloved in your DD lifestyle?

Photo from Wikimedia Commons: Rosa Carte Blanche in the Volksgarten in Vienna by Anna Reg